If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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