Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How does one acquire holy water?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
