All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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