the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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