it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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