the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
