i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
