he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
