Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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