you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
