I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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