if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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