so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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