just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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