I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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