i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
