You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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