My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
