im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
