I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
