also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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