so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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