Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize