1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
