i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
