Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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