Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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