When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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