After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
