Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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