My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want her autograph on my taint
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
