I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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