Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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