The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
