Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
