so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think i have herpe
just one?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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