is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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