What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
