dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
