i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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