I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
