At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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