So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
