Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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