We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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