i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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