Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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