sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Randomize
