i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
