Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
