is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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