Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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