If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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