Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
