He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
