You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
