We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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