you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
