Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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