Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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