and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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