The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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