he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
