my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
