I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
