No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
