big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
